An Open Letter To The Man Who Lied To Me

Lying is not always necessary but if you just left a man who finds it necessary to always lie at every given opportunity, you can use these samples as inspiration or you can copy to tell him that you are now aware of his lies and it was not necessary.

An Open Letter To The Man Who Lied To Me

Dear [man who lied to me],

I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, and I wanted to write you a letter. I know that we haven’t talked much since our breakup, but I think it might be a good idea if we did.

I want you to know that I’m doing well. I’m happy, and things are going great for me right now. If anything, it’s because of you, you taught me how important it is to love myself and make myself happy. And if you’re reading this, then maybe you’re doing well too,  That makes me so happy.

You’ll never know how much it means to me that we were able to find each other after all these years of searching. And even though things didn’t work out romantically between us, I hope that our friendship can continue on into the future as well.

I wish you the best of luck in everything you do.

Dear [man who lied to me],

I’m writing this letter because I want you to know how deeply your lies affected me. And I thought that if I could put it all down on paper, maybe I could make sense of it.

I don’t know if you remember me, but we met one night at a party and you and I got along really well. We talked for hours about our families, our jobs, the people we’d lost along the way. We had a lot in common, and I was so excited by the prospect of getting to know you better.

But when I woke up in the morning, you were gone! All that was left behind was a note saying that you had “to go home.”

That felt like such an anticlimax after everything we’d said the night before, it felt like such a cruel joke. But then again… maybe it was for the best? Because after all: You lied about everything else, too. You told me you were single when in fact you were married with three kids,  You told me your name was John when in fact it was Michael! And most importantly: You told me nothing about yourself.

Dear [man who lied to me],

I don’t know your real name, but I do know that you lied to me.

You told me that you were a different person than the one in the picture. But when I met you in person, you were exactly who I thought you’d be and more. You were better than what your profile promised.

You said you wanted a relationship, but instead of giving me one, you gave me a friendship. You gave me someone to talk to when things got tough, someone who understood my pain and my fear. Someone who was there for me when no one else was around and sometimes even when they were.

But then something happened: we stopped talking as much as we used to and our conversations became shorter, less frequent. The time between each exchange grew longer until it seemed like weeks or months had passed since we last talked at all. Then one day I realized: there was no more friendship between us; there never had been any friendship at all. All this time we spent together, it was just an illusion, An illusion created by our mutual need for someone else’s presence during such an awful time in our lives.

Dear [name],

I don’t know if you remember me. It’s been a long time since we were together, and I’m sure you’ve moved on to greener pastures by now. Most importantly, though, I hope that you’re happy and well.

But the reason why I’m writing this letter is because I want to tell you something—and it’s important.

When we first met, we were just two people who had just moved into the same house. We didn’t know each other very well at all, but you made an effort to be friendly and kind to everyone else in the house except for me. You wouldn’t say hi or smile at me or even acknowledge my existence when we passed each other in the hallway. It was really hurtful at first, but then it became clear: You had no interest in getting close with anyone because you were hiding something from everyone else in the house; namely, that you’d lied about being a lawyer when in fact you had no job and no money (and therefore no way to pay rent).

Dear [name],

I’m writing to tell you that I’m done with your lies.

I don’t know what you were thinking when you told me that your last girlfriend was a man, or that you had a pet lion, or that you could fly. But it’s not cool. It’s not funny. It’s just plain lying, and it makes me feel bad about myself when I find out the truth.

I’m not trying to be dramatic here, this is serious stuff. When someone lies to me, they make me feel like they don’t trust me or respect me enough to tell the truth. And once that trust is broken, it’s hard for us to have a real relationship together because we’ll always be wondering if we can really trust each other.

So please, from now on: Be honest with me, Don’t lie about being married if you’re single; don’t try to convince me that your sister is actually your daughter; and please don’t tell me again that your name is “Mario” (or any other fake name). It’s not funny anymore, and it hurts my feelings every time.

Dear [man’s name],

I know that we don’t talk anymore. But I have to say something.

I’m sorry that you lied to me. I know it was wrong and maybe you didn’t mean it, but still: you lied to me. And now, because of that lie, I’m not sure what to think about anything. I can’t trust myself anymore, or my memory even though there are so many parts of our relationship that were so good.

It’s hard for me to understand why you would lie about such a simple thing but then again, maybe it wasn’t simple for you at all? Maybe it was just one more thing in a long line of things that weren’t quite right? Maybe it was just another way for you to try and make yourself feel better? Maybe it even seemed right at the time? But then when it turned out that you had been lying all along… well, maybe that just made everything worse?

I know this is probably not what you wanted from us or at least not how I thought things would go when we first met on Tinder (yes, Tinder). And maybe this letter won’t change anything between us forevermore.

Dear [Man’s name],

I don’t know why you lied to me in the first place. But I do know that I’m not angry about it anymore.

I met you when I was 22, and we had a relationship for five years before breaking up. Those years were some of the most intense of my life, they were also some of the most challenging, because they were filled with lies on your part. You lied about having children from previous relationships, about your age, and about how much money you supposedly made each month.

It took me a long time to forgive you for those lies but eventually I did. And now? Now I feel like we’re better than ever! We’ve grown together as people, and our relationship is stronger than ever because we are no longer trying to hide anything from each other. We’re open and honest with one another now, which makes our relationship so much stronger than it used to be.

Dear [man who lied to me],

I know you’re probably freaking out right now, and that’s okay. You have every right to be scared but I want you to know that I’m not angry. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more at peace with myself than I do right now.

The thing is, when we met, it was like everything clicked into place for me. You were just so… perfect for me! Like, literally everything about you made sense. And then when we started dating, it just got better from there. We were so happy together! We could talk about anything; we could laugh together; we were always laughing together! It was amazing.

But then something happened, It’s hard to explain how or why exactly but something changed between us somewhere along the way. Maybe it was something about me or about us or maybe it was nothing at all but suddenly things weren’t clicking anymore. We weren’t laughing together anymore; instead we were fighting all the time. And then there was this feeling in my chest, this feeling like something had broken inside of me and there was no fixing it.

Dear [name],

I’m writing to you because I need to talk. You see, there’s something that happened between us that I am having a hard time coming to terms with. It’s been on my mind for a while, and it’s just not right.

To put it bluntly, I feel like you lied to me. And it’s made me question everything we had together. Do you remember when we first met? We were so excited about being able to spend time together again after all those years of being apart. How happy we were, how excited we were! And now… now I feel like it all meant nothing. Like you never really cared about me at all – just what was in it for you.

That’s why this hurts so much: because it feels like everything has been based on a lie: your feelings for me, the way we connected, our entire relationship… Everything is built on lies and deceit and lies upon lies upon lies upon lies upon lies.

Dear [name],

I’m writing to you because I have to. I have to write this, or else my brain will keep banging around in my head like a pinball.

You lied to me and it hurt so much. It’s been months since the last time we saw each other, but I still feel like someone punched me in the gut every time I think about it.

When we met, you were different than anyone else I’d ever dated. You were kind and funny and charming and you seemed so sincere, That was what drew me in: your sincerity. When you told me you loved me, when you said that nothing meant more to you than our relationship, when you said we’d be together forever,  I believed every word of it.

But then there was an incident at work where some personal information about one of our clients got out into the public domain before we could release it ourselves and when asked what happened, you lied right to my face and said that someone else had leaked it without your knowledge or approval.

Dear [man’s name],

I know you didn’t mean to hurt me. But it’s been almost a year since we started dating, and I’m still struggling with how you lied to me about your commitment to your ex-wife.

You told me that you were divorced when we met at the bar where I was working, but a few weeks later, you told me that you were still married. When I asked why, you said that your lawyer had told you not to communicate with her for at least six months after the divorce was finalized in order to make sure everything went smoothly.

It’s been hard for me to move on from this experience, but I know that what happened between us wasn’t real because of how much pain it caused both of us when it ended. So thank you for hurting me because if there had never been any pain between us, then there would’ve never been any healing either.

See This: An Open Letter To A Liar